The Pivot Point of Three Words

Sometimes it takes a little space.

The distance of a few years for things to settle before one can look back and pinpoint that exact moment.

The pivot point.

How many relationships can say they never really fought or argued with each other?

Never really had to apologize?

It wasn’t just looking back with the nostalgia of romance, but genuinely we did not fight.

That doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done things better.

My intentions weren’t bad, but they still hurt.

I can see that clearly now.

Most of the time together as a couple we spent hanging out with my friends, compared to your friends. I didn’t give it much thought at the time as my friends loved you, and I was so proud to have you as my girlfriend I wanted to show the world.

I saw my own friends enough; more time should have been spent with yours.

I’d like to think that if we stayed together my oversights would have corrected themselves, but I don’t think this was that pivot point.

I know exactly where we were sitting, what you were wearing, what you smelled like when you asked.

How come I don’t say I love you?

The fact it took a few seconds for me to respond means you caught the calculations.

If you had asked my friends they would tell you that it's because I don’t express emotions easily, and they would be correct.

Where I came from, emotions got you punished, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have them.

I had opened up to you about everything else in my life, except one or two barriers which would have come down with a little more time.

I do.

My response was not the one that you wanted to hear, but I have never and would never lie to you.

I had never said that phrase to another woman, and I knew when I did there would be a permanence attached to it.

Something that would not be easily undone.

I did love you; it was in my words, my expressions, and how I tried to always stand in your corner that demonstrated that.

It was leading to that moment, my feelings were true, and I would have given you what you wanted without reservation.

That was the pivot point.

Three words of weight.

I love you.

I do.

I did.