I wanted to help my boy Punkass out.
My girlfriend had spent the entire week hyping the date up.
Equally I updated him with pictures, interests, and no go zones.
She was the perfect woman for him, hitting all the check boxes.
Saturday night was the night.
In Italian restaurant down by the water, one she had not been to, but eager to dine at from the recon my girlfriend ran.
I ran through the itinerary with him so nothing was left to chance.
Pick up my girlfriend first, then her, and then him.
I’ll do the driving so the two of them can sit in the back seat together.
Everything was set.
My only warning was not to be late.
When we rolled up, give it thirty seconds after I honk and come out.
One spitz of the Drakkar, nothing more, on the suggestion of my girlfriend.
Don’t mention the DeLorean.
Save that for the second date.
The fact that I was even wearing a suit showed how serious I took my responsibilities for the night.
Driving over to Punkass’ house everything was according to the stated pickup time.
My girl in a red cocktail dress in the passenger seat, her friend in a matching black dress in the back.
I slowly rolled up to the house, a moment later honking the horn, one quick blast.
Ten minutes is a long time to sit in silence, my girlfriend kept the conversation lite as I calculated if I should stay in the car or get out and find out what is going on.
Finally.
My girl was the fist to see it, an entire sentence passed through a quick glance to me.
She hadn’t looked over yet, maybe I could do something?
A second glance.
I told him where we were going, even what she would be wearing.
He knew.
Really.
A quick look out the window and contact was made.
Respectable shoes and black pants, paired with a Cliff Huxtable sweater.
Forget damage control, they might not let us in the Restaurant.
Now a silent three way silent conversation was going on. Her flashing eyes to my girlfriend, my girlfriend flashing her eyes to me, and me looking at her in the backseat trying to figure out how to spin it.
The drive over to the restaurant was silent at first, but as things started to defrost I still believed in my boy and we could still make it up on sophistication and charm.
The seating was perfect, thanks to me going over a few nights before to check out the lighting and view.
The ambiance would mute the sweater a bit, and I was ready to steer the conversation to music they both shared.
My girl has well rehearsed me in the girl-code when it comes to order and I naturally too the lead.
I’d order first.
Something expensive, and then my girl.
Control the flow and have Punkass order next, leaving her last so she could adjust what she ordered as needed.
It took ten minutes to get to her.
Ten minutes.
He had a dozen questions, asked to hear the specials twice, and wound up ordering something messy.
Beer to drink, but not in a glass, leave it in the bottle.
Even the waiter could read why we were here and he was trying to coach my boy with some helpful suggestions.
After ordering the ladies excused themselves to freshen up for a moment, and when they left Punkass asked how he was doing, and that she was even hotter then her pictures.
Pointing out that he fucked up on punctuality, and sophistication, leaving only charm left wasn’t going to help.
I told him to just be relaxed and maybe before dinner arrived to order the table a bottle of wine.
The calm before dinner and the first half if it recovered.
Things were still a bit muted, but picking up.
Maybe I would survive this after all, my own life on the balance since this entire thing was my idea.
Then t took a turn.
Not a complement, but a disagreement.
Not framed as an opinion, but just that she was flat out wrong.
For a moment I imagined myself sitting at the bar alone, enjoying my drink.
Now it was just get through the evening as the new plan was to keep my eyes on Punkass’s eyes and not deviate.
Drinks after at the bar were out and the car ride home was ice.
We dropped my boy of first and I walked him to the door to get a brief reprieve for the tag team that was to come as soon as I got back in the car.
His response was that he nailed the night and was going to caller her tomorrow and take her out in the DeLorean.
There was nothing left to say.
You do that was all I could say.