It was the most beautiful dojo I had ever beheld.
Whatever you could conjure in your imagination it surpassed.
Polished wooden floors, exposed beam ceilings, an alcove for the shodo, and racks of swords on both walls.
Beyond the presentation it has presence.
Although it was some distance from our dojo, we would visit a few times a year depending on the seminars offered or the guest instructor.
And now it had closed.
I was told not just closed, but ripped out and remodeled, and now a *coming soon* sign hung in the window.
I had to check it out for myself, and apparently it was true.
The entire space was gutted down to the studs and the wires.
I was just standing there looking into the void of the space when a guy my age approached and asked if I was a former student of the school here.
Not a former student, but a student of the martial arts, and an often visitor to the school, when it hosted events.
The man’s eye light up and he had me follow him inside the space to a back room.
Asking if we should perhaps not be here, he shared that he was the new owner of the space as he opened the door to the back room.
Stacked inside were some of the saved artifacts from the dojo.
When he signed the lease the landlord was already in the process of ripping everything out and something told him to save what he could.
Could I understand that he couldn’t let it just go in the garabge?
I could.
He insisted I take the stuff and he even helped me load it in the car.
The least I could do was offer to buy him some pizza from the restaurant next door.
We got along really well.
It was natural just talking, there was nothing to posture.
I joked and asked if we were on a date.
He replied that normally I wouldn’t be his type, but with such a serendipitous meeting like this maybe he would have to make an exception.
Lucen was opening a bookstore in the spot, as it was perfect for his vision.
The front of the space with the big open windows would showcase the books, and the back area of the space would be used to host events like poetry readings, author nights, and other things. Spring, summer, and early fall events would be held out in the attached patio space in the back. His vision was to make it a community hub and share the books that he enjoyed.
Lucen had gotten his start out of college as an apprentice to an art dealer, and over the next decade he was a fixture in the art scene in the city. Parties, events, artists, it was funny how the art aspect was the least of his job.
That lead to a passion for books, rage books, fine books, first-print books, which over time had allowed him to build up quite a collection.
Now he was ready to settle down and follow his love of books, put down some roots locally and get out of the city.
My life?
It certainly wasn’t as exotic as his, and I thought for a few moments how I could dress my life up and make it more interesting.
I shared that I worked in computers, and that I studied martial arts, which clearly wasn’t as exiting as art and books.
The evening ended with a personal invitation to his grand opening in a few weeks and I joked that I won’t stand him up for our second date.
Lucen’s bookstore become like a second home to me as I’d often stop by for a quick visit which would somehow turn into half the day. He was somehow always able to find me so many of the old sci-fi paperback I loved as a kid and I was honored to be at his community events for local authors.
It was a comfortable friendship.
Over time he expanded the store to include his love or rare books, procuring certain titles for collectors, while also expanding his collection. He would share acquisitions with me with such enthusiasm, explaining the quality of the paper, the binding, and the covers and how they linked the power of the words to a physical experience as one held and appreciate the book.
I could understand that passion, as I related to it the same way one might look at and appreciate a katana. How in many ways the beauty of an object allows it to transcend what it was intended for, and transforms it into an impossibility.
It was after one of the community events, after the store had closed, that I noticed it while putting away some chairs and moving the tables back.
A single book on the counter.
Lucen was looking at with a particular glance, his mind elsewhere as I walked over.
Was he ok?
He was.
This book was the last one in a set that he needed to complete his collection. A mixture of longing and regret, he explained that at one time having this book would have been the most important thing in his world, but now it was just so he could say he has the entire set.
Curious, I moved closer and looked at the book title.
Could it be?
Lucen was quick enough to register my surprise and now he asked if I was ok.
We just looked at each other, wondering who would risk making the first move.
He broke the silence with a laugh and gave the first sign, which I instinctively replied with the second.
I wondered why I did that.
Different branches of the same tree, for a guy like Lucen it made sense, but for somebody like me?
I didn’t fit the mold for such a thing.
His discovery story was textbook, made sense.
But mine?
Was it a woman?
It’s always a woman.
So why were two guys talking about the same thing, meeting under these circumstances, and not under the circumstances that one would expect given our backgrounds?
Regarding that we both had the same background.
We had both failed.
He was part of a very prominent group, very successful in the group, and eventually as made head of his own group within the organization.
Things went well for a while, and then started to unravel, eventually imploding.
Looking back, he was at fault.
He wasn’t mature enough to lead in certain areas, and he made some wrong decisions.
If he had a chance to do it again, with where he was now in life, it would be different.
I entered it for the wrong reason, making it about something else, when it should have been about the tradition. I knew what I was doing, and while knowing what I know now, I still would have made the same choice.
But I was honest in that I often thought about that tether that brought me in, and how it I had found out about it some other way, it would have been interesting to see how far I could have gone standing on my own reasons.
Best to leave the past in the past we told ourselves getting back to our comfortable friendship.
When I agreed to meet Lucen for pizza one night both out decisions had already been made.
Sitting down in the booth together, ordering a large pie, our eyes met and I just nodded.
Silently we both came to the same conclusion on our own. We tried to let it be, came up with a good number of reasons why not to.
Agreed it would never work.
But how many people genuinely get a second chance at anything in life?
We just do the opposite of what we did before right?
Over the next few weeks we worked out the logistics.
What we both though was going to be the hardest part, turned out to be the easiest.
The furniture, regalia, and stuff needed would take months to make, maybe even a year, but between both of us we had it covered. Turns out like me, Lucen wasn’t sure why he held onto his stuff, opting to put it in storage and forget about it by leaving it there.
Which left us with the logistics side of things.
I thought we should affiliate ourselves with one of the organizations, while he thought we should stand on our own.
We either succeed or fail on that, no help or influence on that.
I wanted Lucen to be in-charge, but he refused as we both agreed to do the opposite of last time.
He was of the grade to be in-charge, and I was not so we would have to find a workaround for that.
He wanted things to be very exact and specific with the advancements, I suggested we be open to some additional considerations and not be so rigid.
Back and forth until we had a working framework to give it a go.
Now all we needed was a date.
The Equinox.
It was emotional for both of us to step out on the floor for the first time.
A mixture of his stuff and my stuff outfitting the room, it was both familiar and alien.
Feelings of excitement for a new journey, with notes of sadness because we both knew other people should be here with us.
I looked at Lucen and moved closer.
It’s the Equinox, they are here with us right now, just in a different place.
We put out a few feelers to the community, left things kind of open with the right words, and stepped back to see what happened.
For that first Equinox we had one person join us.
Things grew slowly as we continued on and the group capped out at about eight, which I considered a success considering we didn’t advertise, recruit, or really make ourselves known.
Again, the opposite of what happened last time.
If somebody was supposed to walk with the group, they would find their way to the group.
And then something unaccounted for happened.
Lucen was always instant on every part of the ceremonies.
Exact and done with absolute perfection.
I naturally resisted as was my nature to view things more fluidly, but this was the entire point why the group was started- to learn from the opposite.
It was during that particular part of the ceremony when Lucen was purifying the space with a censer.
Not satisfied with the dramatics, he piled on more and more incense filling the room.
Which set off the smoke alarms.
That were tied to the fire station.
After about a minute we could hear the sirens in the distance getting louder and louder.
We all just froze.
Dressed as we were there was no time.
Lucen just shrugged his shoulders.
I’m sure they had seen stranger things.
Ironically that one moment unintendedly put us on the map.
Mystery, ambiguity, and stories that change every time they were told had all sorts of people inquiring about our group and now we had grown from a club or local gathering to that of something bigger.
Something that following tradition was going to force Lucen into a leadership role. I had an idea on how to make it work, or at least make him feel comfortable about it so he could make it work.
He would lead, but I would be the heavy of the group, since I had just enough authority to be so and my name was number two behind his in the roll book.
Lucen agreed to give it a try for six months as prescribed and then the group would take a vote on it.
With me taking care of the logistics and keeping the day-to-day stuff running it allowed Lucen to fully devote himself to leading.
Numbers grew as he found the confidence he always had, that confidence now freed from actually getting a chance to do it again again, only older and more experienced.
When it was time to take a vote to make it permanent, the results were unanimous.
Lucen was in-charge.
Was he upset?
It didn’t make a difference as he vote was unanimous, but in a different setting it could have. Tradition dictated that both of us vote for the other person, but in the results it was only one vote for me, with him taking all of the other votes. I had to vote my conscience.
It came without warning.
One day everything was open, and the next day it was closed.
What we all through would only be a few weeks, shut down the world.
None of us thought that our last meeting would really be our last meeting, but it was.
We weren’t the only ones, many groups didn’t survive.
I consoled Lucen as he took it very hard as the bookstore had also closed.
It wasn’t his fault in any way, he kept us open as long as he could, but even he couldn’t continue.
Everybody understood, and there was nobody that could even remotely fill what he brought.
Was he letting me down?
No.
The past few years had been something that I could never have dreamed about again, and now it was time for all of us to move on.
The current wasn’t our to control that night when it opened, and it would immature to think we could control it now with it closing.
Who knew what adventures awaited him in the midwest.
Could he not say we accomplished everything we set out to do?
Almost…
What was he talking about?
He told me that I still had unfinished business, and he wasn’t wrong. I helped him face his do over and now he was going to leave me with something to help me as he pushed a manuscript towards me.
A paper.
Lucen had been writing it with the intent of presenting it before everything shut down.
Now that everything was opening back up, he had made arrangements to have it presented at the next conclave.
I reminded him that we agreed we were not going to be a part of any organizations, and he replied correct.
That the group was no more, so we weren’t a part of anything.
I would be presenting it on his behalf, so in true form the author could remain unknown. When we started together the best I could do was read it, now I could embody it when it was presented.
He could see my hesitation, but made me promise anyway, which I did.
Now what we set out to do together was complete.
Our last date was now complete.
Surrounded by my peers who wondered who I was and why I was here, I was up next to present a lecture on Lucen’s paper.
Taking the podium, flanked by two pillars I thought about everything I had experienced then and now, and delivered the lecture.
It was well received and at the luncheon after more then a few came up to me to inquire more about the paper and who the group was that presented it.
I did my best to honor my friend in presenting his work, and when there was a pause in the crowd a familiar female voice from behind called out:
Res temporis tantum erat?
To which I responded without thinking or turning around:
Oἱ θεοὶ ἰδίους τρόπους ἔχουσιν.
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