The Geometry of Loyalty

D, had been pacing back and forth across the room for ten minutes or so when I finally asked him why he was so nervous.

Was he nervous?

How could I tell?

Well, he was pacing back and forth and he wasn’t the one about to be examined.

Did I want to go over possible questions again?

No, at this point I felt it had most likely already had been decided.

Two on the panel I met at the party, and another at the museum during the first round, the others I would just have to sway with my charm.

My assurances and strategy did little to calm D.

When the doors opened, I was lead into a sparse room and seated at a round table with six others who would be interviewing me.

Did I know why I was here was the opening question.

Yes, to see if I would be invited to join an esteemed group, one that my friend was a member of, and one that I believed would be a good fit for all involved.

What were my motivations for joining the group?

I was ready for this question, and had three answers for it.

The first was the most accurate but not one I would probably admit to in such an interview. That I was joining because of my friend, and the promise of adventures we would have together.

The second was that the aim and focus of the group seemed interesting and resonated something within me, which was true. This was probably the safest answer, left a bit vague as they could read into it how they wanted, when in truth what resonated was standing together in the temple with my friend.

The third was that I had already met some of the interviewers on the panel and I was impressed with how they conducted themselves, and this was a credit to the group, which was true.

When I was asked about my friendship with D., these questions came a bit faster, directed by a few on the panel, including the woman who I met at the party.

Could I put my friendship with D. aside, and pursue any studies with an open agenda?

I paused before replying, letting the silence hang in the room for a bit, in order to shift the momentum back to me, to reset the geometry of the room.

No, I couldn’t put my friendship with D. aside, as that is the very reason I was led to the group, and they could not be separated.

I followed up by asking the woman on the panel specifically is friendship not allowed?

A final question on the matter was what if I had to choose between the group or my friendship?

I asked for clarification- were we talking about D. or somebody else?

My reply was that I could not give them an answer to that, as it would be very much dependent on the specific situation and the exact moment.

I wanted to add that this was beginning to feel like a Greek Chorus, but I don’t know how they would have taken the insight.

Better to remain silent as one can’t read into silence. 

The rest of the questions were follow-ups on what they already knew from my inquiry-application and the other informal meeting.

Education, interests, books that I have read.

When the doors opened to the waiting room and I walked out, that is when D. stopped pacing and focused on me, looking for any small sign of how it went.

I was silent as the group walked out, D. only relaxing when the woman made eye contact with him and smiled.

D. kept his composure until the left, letting out a hurrah and clapping his hands.

He was genuinely happy for me, the start of a new adventure together.