I had failed the first group, and with new determination I was not going to repeat that with this group.
It was an honest mistake in that I wanted them to be better than me.
Given the time that it took me, if I could make it better for them, and get them there in half the time.
It taught me why silence is the way, why my teacher was often silent when words seemed like a better choice.
Why the hidden phrase of the dojo was: that if you could not do it, that was ok, as you would just die.
I explained everything, forgetting that budo is not an academic study, it is a way of doing something, and in this case a martial way, not a martial study.
It was telling how people spent those few minutes on the dojo floor before the call to line up and the teacher walked out.
Some students talked among themselves about movies, events, or personal matters in their life. A few stretched out and limbered up for the upcoming class.
An even smaller group would just sit and reflect of meditate, sometimes eyes closed, other times eyes open.
Over the time that I observed this, it was interesting because I was immune to it.
My responsibilities in the dojo always kept me busy in those moments before class. One last look over the swords, one last check that the mats were secured down correctly, one last look that the floor was spotless.
Now, being assigned to a new group I had this time back, which just meant that the preparations before class had to happen earlier, as new responsibilities don’t discharge the old ones.
They just pile on.
I’d sit down next to one of the students I was assigned to, just off to the side, at a distance where I was close enough to be a part of their orbit, but far enough away as to not disturb whatever they were doing.
If they kept on talking, or didn’t pause in stretching, if the breath of the meditation did not change, I moved a little closer.
Not to insert, but to gently land.
In budo most things are nothing, but sometimes they could be something,
Being aware of the subtle shifts of change was important to cultivate.
When the senior student called out, we all lined up before the kamiza, bowed and class officially began.
The first third was always the fundamentals, the core movements that once you learned them, you spent the rest of your life polishing them.
Once such exercise was lining up and working though the five forms.
These were solo exercises with the senior students in the front and the junior students behind them so if they got lost they had a reference point for getting back on track.
It would be close but incorrect to view everything in the dojo as a test, rather an opportunity to conduct oneself correctly under the tenets of budo. You had as many chances as you needed, and there was no time limit, but you had to be aware first of what was going on around you.
New students saw the five forms, the physical motions of them, the practice of them, senior students also saw this, but they also payed attention to the relationship of the teacher and the forms in that moment.
Sometimes the teacher would lead them, and if he did they were fast and to the point,
Precise.
Other time he would start them, and then hand them off to senior or up-and-coming junior student to take over.
Watching.
If he handed them off, there was a better than average chance that we would be doing them for quite some time.
Maybe even thirty minutes.
It was important not to miss the pacing.
Going one hundred percent, full force, full contact only meant you gassed out halfway through and the forms got sloppy.
Slowing down, pacing oneself, while keeping the forms crisp and correct was the lesson.
The mistake I made would be telling one of those under my supervision to slow down, which they did, but in terms they missed the shift.
Better to move closer to the student and speed up my own movement to match them, meet them at the moment, and follow by slowing down my movement so they shift and match me.
One of the requirements for the group was to be able to demonstrate the different sword postures, to draw the sword from the belt and move into the posture.
My mistake the first time was in verbally correcting them, pointing out the openings in the posture.
At best they understood what I was saying and tried to correct it, but this was always incorrect since they were making the mistake in the fist place. At worst they had no idea what I was talking about and only became more frustrated at wanting to correct something they could not see,
Words are a waste of time in budo.
The teacher never corrected my methods, and I quickly learned that if he was watching me they were incorrect, while if he was not watching me they were correct.
Correct came from reflecting on what he did and how he handled it.
As the students practiced the postures I would stand at a distance from them, the incorrect distance so both them and I were not in the space.
When they made a mistake I would draw my sword and cut in the space before them where the opening was.
The hiss of the air and the appearance of a sword pointing at the opening quickly motivated to close it.
Not every draw on my part was honest.
At times I would draw my sword and cut to where there was no opening so both the student and myself could observe.
If there movement was natural, and if there was no opening there was no need to move or adjust on their part. If the posture was correct on their part, my sword draw created the opening in my own movement.
This is when I learned something shameful.
Recent times when I thought my own movement had caught the teacher off guard or by surprise.
I was surprised I could get one over on him.
I couldn’t see that his mistake was deliberate, to see if I could see the mistake in his movement.
Class would end just as it began, after bowing out for the evening, most students quickly left the floor to get changed, to be ready when as a class we all would go over to the Japanese restaurant of the pizza shop.
This would create a bottleneck of students as not everybody could fit in the changing room at the same time, or pack away the training gear at the same time.
Knowing when to exit, being able to see the time to exit, and doing it as quickly as possible so we could all go over together was the shift to be looking for.
Once we got out of the dojo, was that the end of my responsibilities to them?
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